Gloomy picture

A gloomy city where no one dared to go. The buildings were old and battered, an old bridge where nothing has gone across for centuries apart from old memories. The buildings were so high it was nearly touching the sun which was forcing its self to come out, the bit of light that came out shone upon the dark birds with bright yellow teeth which was the same colour of the lights blazing out of the windows. The lights were reflecting onto the ice cold river which never stopped moving around. The river was kissing all the buildings so everywhere you looked there would be water and buildings it was like a Forrest of buildings that never stopped growing. Everywhere you turn there are buildings, when ever you close your eyes and open it there will be buildings looking right into your face and every bit of air you breath is someone’s memory.


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One response to “Gloomy picture”

  1. Christopher Waugh Avatar

    From Alfie: I think that you have built a picture of destruction which was your intention, the paragraph includes good description to build up a picture. Also it asks the reader a question of why such distrustion is occurring.
    In my opinion I think you should link the sentences so that the sentences relate, for example as a result of one sentence, another has happened.
    Also try an incorporate senses as it also builds a great picture, for example i could heard screaming in the background.

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